Strange energies kept me awake, prodding me back each time I dipped my toe in the beyond.

No coherent thoughts were being allowed to form. Only floating suggestions of vague empty rooms and the blurred outlines of unborn ideas seen through closed eyes beneath a red satin sleep mask.

I wanted but did not know what I was wanting. Not sure I wanted to know.

lace made of bone

bones made of light

messages I cannot remember

making sounds I could not decipher

Where was the testament?

Ask again later.

felt my temple snap impatient
circling back toward the brilliance that waits outside the walls of what is

Because
THAT
is the only way
you
KNOW FOR CERTAIN
that it is
YOU
who are deciding.

Restless after a lifetime of taking my ball and going home
holding myself in, holding myself back.

My revenge against the world.

and then

a small hand touching my left shoulder

fingers of light combing my hair as I unfold
excised suddenly from the storyline
reaching out with new arms

I had the sense that I could let go of all of it, all at once, but I pulled myself back.

Taking my time racing into the sun